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| Jealous to criticism? Bollywood's Akshay, Jacqueline Fernandez, and Lisa |
Dear actors,
I sympathize with you. Don't worry.
Of all the emotions humans show, jealousy and criticism are 2 of the most common and unsettling. It tends to bring out the worst in us, even though most of us know better. It's an age-old problem, having been recorded since Mahabharat and Biblical times, and no doubt experienced even before that.
Foolproof Way to Deal With Criticism and Jealousy
Actors are just like anyone else in terms of the number of insecurities they have. The difference is that actors more regularly find themselves in situations where insecurities are likely to surface.
Consider the number of auditions an actor attends and the high ‘rejection rate,’ take into account the emotions actors express in any given class or performance and the potential for judgment and ridicule that entails and keep in mind the overwhelming competition that makes even great actors feel unworthy by comparison. It can be overwhelming.
That’s not to say that members of the general public don’t have their own challenges, but most of them can be kept private. When you perform, yours are on display for everyone to see and potentially critique and analyze. That’s depressing stuff—but never fear. There are ways to overcome and conquer these insecurities.
Criticism
When you face criticism of any kind, you have three options:
- Ignore it
- Become insecure, or
- Learn from it.
I hope we can all agree that the first is foolish, the second is destructive and the third is the most desirable.
To ignore all criticism is a great way to make sure that you miss even the nuggets of gold buried under the rubble of a well-meaning advisor or teacher’s poor delivery. To become insecure about feedback makes it more likely that the next suggestion from someone is going to also be viewed by you as an attack because you’ve conditioned yourself to view criticism as a rebuke. To learn from everything, however, regardless of the sometimes coarse and unmannered conveyance of advice, is your only true and effective way through insecurities.
As a teacher, I can hand-over-heart say that I never judge my students. I used to do this many years ago, maybe for a month or two when I had just started coaching and was insecure about myself. But as my confidence in my own teaching grew so did my patience and empathy when it comes to actors and their attendant insecurities.
When you react negatively to a note, direction or piece of feedback, the only thing you can be certain of is that your own reaction was negative. You can’t even be sure that the advice-giver was being rude or uncaring—they may have simply failed to communicate in the way you prefer. If you dismiss everything you heard means that you lose an opportunity to learn and grow. That’s the only one true guarantee.
Your future is not dictated by your past, nor is it the result of what your critics say about you or to you. Your future is decided entirely by how you react to the hand (like a card game) of that you are dealt. Though you may have suffered the most humiliating blows in your life and career to date, only you can change your life for the better.
Wouldn’t it be nice to start today?
Jealousy
Are you jealous of others? Their looks, body, acting, respect and attention they get on set? Or notice the others who you feel are jealous of you?
Jealousy might feel like something that comes with the territory of being an actor—as if it’s something you’ll always have to feel. But that doesn’t have to be the case. You can go through your entire career without feeling jealous at all, or move through it quickly whenever it does arise.
While jealousy is usually regarded as a “bad” thing, especially because it feels really bad, it’s a natural human emotion that arises whenever you really want something but, for whatever reason, don’t believe you can have it. It can be incredibly painful when left unchecked, though, and it can become harmful to your acting career, eating away at the creative energy you could be using to advance your career and do great work. But the most important reason to shift out of jealousy is that
it represents a “wall” inside that stands between you and what you want—whether it be a high-profile role, a contract with a power agent, or a relaxed stage presence.
Here are 3 steps to transform jealousy into an advancement tool for your acting career:
1. What you’re jealous of ?
- The good news about jealousy is that it’s a very clear indicator of what you want. Jealousy isn’t a wish feeling—it’s intense, pointed and clear.
- Acknowledging this clarity is the first step toward using it to your own benefit.
- All you have to do is write down exactly what you’re jealous of and be really honest with yourself. If you’re jealous of someone who just got a major role in a film or in top TV episodic or is it because they’re going to be famous? Or because they’re going to be well paid for doing work they love? Or maybe it’s because they’re going to work with artists you’d love to work with. There’s no right or wrong here, just clarity. Writing your answer down brings even greater clarity, and it also makes the next two steps easier.
2. Why you feel like you can’t have what others have
Whenever jealousy is present, it’s because some part of you feels like you can’t have what the other person has, or, at the very least, you’ll have to overcome huge obstacles to get it. So another gift jealousy gives you is the knowledge that you have a block—a negative fear or belief that you can't have what you want.
Identify and write down the precise reason of this jealous feeling
Now, start thinking about how can I overcome it? What options do I have or can create? Or, should I focus and develop something I have which the other person lacks?
After getting clear about the specific thing you want, ask yourself, what's my action plan? Write down
3. To end my post, here are my final thoughts
- You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.
- Part of being a man is learning to take responsibility for your successes and for your failures. You can't go blaming others or being jealous. Seeing somebody else's success as your failure is a cancerous way to live.
- Anyone that hates on you is always below you because they're just jealous of what you have.
- Many of you who have undergone training in acting in a school or with a personal coach, will know what's a 'Method Acting' and animal exercises for actors. Apart from what you learn as an actor from animal exercises and where you can apply in your performances, I found another great aspiration for actors to learn from animals-Animals don't lie. Animals don't criticize or are jealous(except maybe chimpanzee and elephants) . If animals have moods, they handle them better than we actors do.
My strategy to kill jealousy and criticism:Personally, I don't get jealous of people or criticize anyone of them. I go on auto-suggesting myself-Jealousy and criticism is such a waste of time because you're jealous or criticize them, and they go about their lives and have a wonderful time, so what's the point? So now, I don't get jealous. At worst, I get suspicious.
Partly based onCriticismJealously
